No Longer Forever 25

On my 25th birthday, I remember telling all my friends that this was my last birthday. Not in a morbid or foreboding way, but more in the vein of denial. I resolved that every birthday thereafter would also be my 25th birthday. I would not be admitting to ever being any older than 25. When I turned 26, sure enough, I cracked jokes about it being my second 25th birthday. Because who would want to be 26? That's, like, so old you guys. Well, 27 came hard and fast and the joke was starting to get old. After all, most of my friends are about the same age as me, and some are older, so the joke didn't just stop being funny, it also started to be kind of offensive. As I approach 28, and before I know it, 30, I realize just how very stupid the joke was, and I know I'll never make it again.

Here's the thing - I LOVE being in my late twenties. I think I'm going to love being in my thirties too. Life gets better as you get older. You get more confident, you make less excuses for yourself, and people take you more seriously. Also, you care less about how seriously people take you, or anything they think of you for that matter. I think that's the best part. Sure, I have moments when I find out how much older I am than someone I admire was when they accomplished something great, I discover that most of my cast-mates in whatever show I'm involved in at that particular moment in time were born in the 90's, or I remember that by the time my mother was my age, she had three children, and I cringe a little. That's natural. But guess what? I'm on my own journey. I don't have to do things in any particular order just because somebody else did.

Another thing about getting older is that I'm a woman, and I'm not supposed to. Us ladies are constantly bombarded with not-so-subliminal messages about the importance of staying youthful and fresh. Men, on the other hand, are revered as they get older. They are perceived as seasoned, mature, experienced, and alluring. For women, there is a very disheartening paradox in which we seem to be valued more as we age for our ability to appear younger than we actually are. How many times have you seen a picture of a female celebrity captioned with something like "40 is the new 25" or a magazine with cover stories like "So and so shares her secrets to staying young". We should really stop saying "she looks great for her age" and just say "she looks great". End of story.

Something else happened around the time I turned 25. I started noticing the little lines around my eyes when I smiled in pictures. Ever year, they get a little deeper and a little longer, and I know that trend will continue. When I first noticed them, I was horrified. I was too young for wrinkles! For god's sake, I still get zits sometimes. But when I think about why they are there, I'm not horrified, I'm thankful. They are there because of all the times I stayed up way too late with my little sister and laughed until I could barely breathe while she made incredibly strange prank calls to random phone numbers in our area code. They are there because of that time during freshman year of college when Adam told us the story about his friend's cat peeing on him in the middle of the night in that hilarious deadpan manner that only he can tell a story, and I knew as the tears of laughter streamed down my face that I wanted him to make me laugh like that forever. They are there because of the times over the past year when I have thrown my head back and laughed uncontrollably with recently-met cast-mates as if we were old friends. They are nothing to be ashamed of, they are the mark of a life of what in retrospection looks like an almost unfair amount of happiness. I'm not saying that I don't care what I look like. I believe in looking and feeling my best, I use an anti-aging eye cream at night, I'll admit it. What I'm saying is that I'm not going to panic. I look like I am supposed to at 27. As I get older, I will look older, and I accept that.

I know that some people might read this and think "Okay, 27-year-old, talk to me when you're approaching 40", and that's a valid point. I know that I am still pretty young by most standards, and that awareness reminds me daily to take advantage of all the things about being young that are so wonderful, but I am truly not afraid to get older. I look to my beautiful mother and her beautiful sisters, who laugh when they are together with a special kind of recklessness, I look to my grandmothers who are both so sweet and happy and full of love, I look to the maturity and serenity of the older women I have come across throughout my life as teachers, mentors, and friends, and I know there is nothing to scared of. There are only things to look forward to, only things to learn.

                   "I'll see you in the future when we're older, and we are full of stories to be told
                       Crossing our hearts and hope to die, I'll see you with your laughter lines"